The Hitchhiker's Church
by Foxpilot
Summary: Sing a hymn with the Hitchhiker's Church.  It's the sensation seeping the known dimension!


**Hello fellow hitchhikers. As you can see, they call me Foxpilot. It's a story beyond the point.**

**What is to the point, though, is that boredom is a strange inspiration. I was bored and came up with this…whatever it is. Pretty much the story of many lives, right? Well, the basic idea is that I was pondering **_**Hitchhikers**_** when I started to cross it over with "One Winged Angel" from Final Fantasy VII. Several hours of refining led to the song below. The rest is basically on the spot.**

**I've never written for this section before, but this is here now. I think I covered the biggest parts of the series (at least from the first three books) here, so hopefully Mr. Adams will give his blessing from the Great Handkerchief that wiped him from the face of our planet.**

**So then, we should start. Please bear in mind that the song itself is to the tune of "One Winged Angel," as I said before. Let it…Begin!**

HHGHHGHHGHHGHHG

"Ladies and gentlemen, settle down." The congregation of worshippers took their seats at the Lead Dentist's call. Once the gathered crowd had calmed its fervor, the man picked up the church's Holy Guide and opened to the beginning.

"Welcome, fellows, to the two hundred fifty-seventh Adamsmas celebration of the people of Earth. I would like to thank you all for coming and I wish to say that I hope you brought your towels."

The crowd's reply was soft and reverent. "And may the Guide show you a place that is mostly harmless."

The preacher smiled. "Thank you, my fellows. Each and every one of you is a snot-sucking, Gargle Blaster-spewing zits on the face of our fine galaxy." There was no laughter, only many murmured insults.

"Today, we begin once again to ponder the meaning of life. As we take a moment before the opening hymn to reflect on the hidden value behind the illuminating forty-two, we will be passing around a tea mug. Please fill it with donations so that the Heart of Gold Project may continue."

As one, the heads of the people bowed. Several of the clergy members handed out mugs emblazoned with the words _Don't Panic_, all of which slowly grew heavier from the money and sandwich pieces placed in them.

Before long the pastor called the group to order. "Now, let us begin the ceremony. The Immortal Adams looks down upon us today as we sing his praise for creating the universe as we know it. May His newfound wisdom in the Heavenly Dimension transfer over to us through the next Dent, who will preach His word and deliver us from the Vogon Constructor Fleet.

"We begin today on page quirbler of the Holy Guide, with the 'Final Opening Prayer.' Let us sing."

As one, the crowd began to declare their devotion to the tune of the musical conglomeration in the back of the church.

Guide_ says, 'Don't Panic';_

_Always bring your towel!_

Guide_ says, 'Don't Panic';_

_Always bring your towel!_

_Arthur Dent!_

_Ford Prefect!_

Guide_ says, 'Don't Panic';_

_Always bring your towel!_

Guide_ says, 'Don't Panic';_

_Always bring your towel!_

_Arthur Dent!_

_Ford Prefect!_

_Vote Beeblebrox_

_For President!_

_Vote Beeblebrox_

_For President!_

Guide_ says, 'Don't Panic';_

_Always bring your towel!_

Guide_ says, 'Don't Panic';_

_Always bring your towel!_

_Arthur Dent!_

_Ford Prefect!_

A musical interlude allowed the church to gather its breath before continuing.

_Marvin, Paranoid Android._

_Trillian; daughter Random._

_Marvin Paranoid Android._

_Trillian; daughter Random._

_Marvin Paranoid Android._

_Trillian; daughter Random._

_Marvin Paranoid Android._

_Trillian; daughter Random._

_Marvin Paranoid Android. (_The Heart of Gold._)_

_Trillian; daughter Random. (Forty-two.)_

_Marvin Paranoid Android. (_The Heart of Gold._)_

_Trillian; daughter Random. (Forty-two.)_

_Marvin Paranoid Android. (_The Heart of Gold._)_

_Trillian; daughter Random. (Forty-two.)_

_Marvin Paranoid Android. (_The Heart of Gold._)_

_Trillian; daughter Random. (Forty-two.)_

_Arthur Dent!_

_Ford Prefect!_

The crowd sneezed as one, signifying their mutual respect for their fellow worshippers' devotion. The Lead Dentist clapped his hands once ti bring order before continuing with the sermon. "Froody. Now please turn your Holy Guides to page zixrbelt…"

HHGHHGHHGHHGHHGHHGHHG

**And that is all. Now, you may wonder why I did this.**

**First, because I find it funny and I have the ability to.**

**Second, because you know one day somebody **_**will**_** do this. Now I can say I thought of it and be embarrassed at my own silliness.**

**Will I continue? I dunno. Probably not. For now, let's just call this article complete and submit it to the publishers to beam to everyone else's personal Guides.**

**Peace be with you on your journey past Krikkit and to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. Ciao chow, all.**


End file.
